In search of an Indian identity

My travel across Indian villages has clearly established one aspect of Indian identity- Indian identity is neither individual I self nor collective We self. It is familial –we self[1].
This familial we self is pan Indian feature ( probably extends across the subcontinent). Interview after interview , myth after myth highlights this aspect of our identity. Our collective dreams are for the welfare of our children and mentioned as duties towards them to educate them and/or settle them in life(euphemism to get them married). And to construct a home for the family. Our deepest fears involve shaming the family name, not living upto expectations of family members while our worries are always about not fulfilling one’s duties to one’s parents and children. Relationships are evaluated as duties and responsibilities.

This is so ubiquitous and obvious in all aspects of our life that it is taken for granted reality. Indian society is a collection of familial Wes. The differences across India are the differences in the power distribution within the family.

Our epics extol virtues of ideal son (Ram) who underwent untold miseries so that his father’s boons to his step mother were upheld. Ramayan starts with Dasarath’s yagna for a child- despite being a virtuous king wealthy, courageous and famous, he was unhappy as he did not have children. The epitome of parental duty is depicted by Shravan whose killing is used as the root cause of the troubles that befell Dasarth and his progeny. Sita’s banishment on return to Ayodhya is again to overcome familial bonds for the sake of a higher duty. Mahabharata depicts the sanctity of a woman and attempt to harass her was a root cause for the fights between brothers. Gita is to explain why one has to overcome familial bonds for the sake of one’s duties to the kingdom.


The knots in our myths are around clash of duties to various household members father- son, husband- wife, across brothers , mother-son. Thus our epics are not about war and victory but about are hero’s struggles against familial bonds compared to duties to larger humanity.

Our preoccupation with marriages and children, family members of politicians inheriting party posts across the country ( across Indian subcontinent) and our acceptance of such dynasties as normal aspect of our politics are proofs of familial self.

What is the impact of a familial we?

For one, our customers are not rational individuals nor norm bound collectivists. They are responsible members of household with duties to fulfil. So any income belongs to the family to meet several obligations and duties of the household members. So any customer information should collect information of the household not of the individual.

When we identify entrepreneurs to invest, we need to understand that s/he wants to create an empire for his family and not merely create profitable venture for self. That family bonds are more powerful than calls of individual conscience. So our investor profile has to include members of the household particularly of wife and adult children (to profile only sons or to profile children and wife is a subcultural issue!!).
[1] I have referred to several Psychoanalysts and researchers viz., Alan Roland ( In search of self in India and Japan) Sudhir Kakar (Indians) , Panda and Gupta ( Individualized-collective self)